months ago, but the past always matters

a sense of betrayal? perhaps. to more than one person. and i think i felt right today in a different way than the usual. there wasn't much anger, not the normal need to be thought of as good. instead it was more like 'that sucks he doesn't see things my way. 'and the usual dwelling on it. but not a bad feeling in my gut telling me i am wrong, i am bad, i wish i was different. the word draining comes to mind, like the nirvana song. it is my duty now to completely drain you.i could have invited him back here with me. but i didn't. overexposure can be bad. on another note, something came in the mail today from Mom. a newspaper clipping, with a letter randomly stating that she washaving a hard time composing something for a high school teacher's memorial message board at a funeral home website. she said , and i quote, 'i am not sure what tone to take'. very telling. very bizarre.